New track (WHY)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/tarashamusic.htmOk i just finish another track, it sound to me i've still need alot of improvement...But hey this is only the beginning it hasn't actually started...Why ?Why ?Why, why - I have to know all the shit I –Why - I have to see what I don’t and won’t try?Why - am I considered bad when you are?Why - they try to shut me down when I’m fall?Why - they seek my thought when they - in need?Why - initiate to gain your advantage?Why - you act like you know me but you don’t?Why - we never friend try to getting my attention?Why - force me to decide - the way I live?Why - mislead me to drop into your trick?And why I have to – believing in your shit?Only conceive fault told to leave, what do I get?Why - am I perceived on both side of view?Why - I have to keep my anger tangle on my shoe?Why - you in my life my intense despise you?Try forgettin’ compromise – to separate from you?Why ?Why ?Why, why - you are the one that should be trust?Why - there is no one here that could entrust?Why - I have to ball and falling on my own?Why - none to share why tear on the pillow?Why - I have to show my weakness to test my instinct?Why - I couldn’t bare to fight and hear your yelling?Why - sibling’s brawl influence them to killing?Why - parent’s conflict affect children thoughts?Why - simplify despise my emotional?Why - family bleed even they try to seal it?Why – we need to kill each other for some dollar bill?And why – can’t we stop to think and start to chill?Why – Still I don’t understand what is life?Why - they pretend to like me - but they lie? Why – can’t nobody avoid reality?Why – can’t we live and die at the same time - in harmony? Why ?Tell me why ?Why ?Tell me why ?

Lost (Full Version)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/tarashamusic.htmOk i just finished the second verseIt should be ok i guess, tell me what ya'll think?I need to get a better mic. Yo im kinda lost over hereCan anybody tell me the way?It getting dark nowI really needed to move…Since the day I was born, I been torning aroundNobody care for ****, always getting me downBut who would’ve thought, that I been caught and foughtGet shot at, the shadow stalking me nowI’m not surprised, cry and pray, what can I sayEventually they will see, who I’m supposed to beI feel the urge surge to accept the taskThat allure suffering and never to askYou ain’t here with me anymore, any longer I’ma prove it me, Make me stronger no longer afraid of theeI’ma fight this ice sacrifice my life for this curse it worstBurst myself what the hell I do give me clue I’m losing my mind I can’t move, can’t see mentally blindSomebody show me the path and tell me what to doCoz in my heart, I’m not yet ready to moveSome body? Any body?Does it make you happy if I cry today?Does it even matter if I die one day?Perhaps I try to hard - forgot I have much life to love-Picturing myself when I was youngThough it yet better to understand what’s lifeDoin’ good or bad who’s to say wrong or right?I’m not trying to preach - man don’t you understand?Life ain’t fair-Livein’ my misery for the family to hellPhysically - it doesn’t hurt as muchMentally to me- there ain’t word describe itMy only thought that got me f**k-up!!! completeGive the best you got - still ain’t worse trying for sh*tContagious my life, again That the same to my brain - andI’m out of the light for nowI can’t stand the fight - now I can bear no more - simply feeling the pain Sacrifice to obtain, only pain that remain - and

Control - Poem

I wrote this poem afew day before Khmer New Year. It cool Have you ever fought caught up thought of being control? Your body and soul you own, like you never hold? Dominate my life post limitate as some regulation Sure enough there's none agreement upon predomination Only villain i see, corrupted my mind blind them whole surrounding What i mean you might not understand the pain i am facing Reminise the time, embracin my rhyme arrogate the life i've proceed Allowance none to pass by a sided from, i'm too weak To stop and clog them whole sh!t man understand, i'm wasted Mistaken good wills apply! when done something good? It never could! It would appropriate expire when you tryin to hard Nevertheless I've been protest since day i started But damn this case, under no circumstances will never restart Who am i to say! obedience them hoe so they can go my way? That ain't so fix, reluctance my pride how will i replay? May i repeat all the same sh!t i say, over and over just to get fvck by day! I'm out of control definitely running my show Rectifyin my own goal initiate any call that fall Regulate my strength so i can shank finale them all

New Year Party

Last night was a happy fun time for everyone/family, we helding a Khmer New Year Party (Due to hotel management issue we'd change the date to 17th) we had alot of fun from celebrating traditional game to singing karaoke, dancing, eating, drinking, betting you name it.There're about 70 people some are from K-one (karaoke club) and mostly from our hotel, i was doing photo/video shooting, my sis was organizing gaming party and karaoke. My brother was hosting the party which including Khmer New Year/Staff Award and the party itself. I had manage to do some 3 songs and duet with my sis and bro but hey that not it everyone are dancing till they drop.Not much shit to yak cuz i got photo to print out

Hungry

Yesterday is certainly a bullshit day, the hotel rooms are fully occupy and i have to share room with my mum well it still ok though, because we do not have to share the same bed, hah imagine if we do. Anyway i got up but not quite early this morning after fullying on at K One (Our Karaoke Club) with my brother in-law until 3 am. I had manage to get up around 11 am, had a shower (brother's room) and dress up and get ready for breakfast i was just one step closer to the resturant and there he was Chantha (AirCon technician) carrying this Motor Fan request urgently need repair. So there goes my breakfast.It was lunch time i was about to get a shower and eat but suddendly my memory had zap me i almost forgot to pick up VCD Karaoke Player for K One which i had drop yesterday to get fix up, so i zoom off with my mum CRV to Phsa Ghe. When i got back it was around 2pm so by this time i had manage to get my room back, got into the room without thinkin twice and fully sleep on (fuck i need to eat).

A new poem

Wow this close to 6 months since my last journal. That's because i am back in Cambodia no time to Journal around although i am not really good writer i'm more a of a spectator but don't get me wrong that i cannot write, oh talkin about writting i had recently wrote a poem it sound kinda corny and it sure of posse meaning too. Hah here it isYakin hoe you blow di*k, biatch ain't sh*t my styleSleep walk and eat forgotten sleek you weak sit da fu*k nowTimez to dies suprise you fam attack your brain blame yo mumBecomin you must be sad, decollate yo dad till he's diedNah wait, not to dash or rash blast yo fake hoe manipulated my showIt over take whole-negotiate my note justify them code, you're a dead foulProvide my seed with multiply speed you won't fu*king breath, pestifideTold you once ain't hear them twice, prepare to fight your last resignFatality yo the victim, seem collapse after my next spec perplexRelax you won't cause no harm-ima come with C4 and blow yo whole motherfu*kin blockzCausin aftershocked like Tsunami even yo family cannot damn escape itI'll make yo disppear as winterkill, pass away pay me the billYo ain't rawz or realz, just another fake nibz ready to su*k di*ks for pillzTry revoke cause to muck me? look at yourself and describe to meA fagg0t with a tag on the neck investigate for a puszy free!To me yo nothin but a scumbag ready to tag along as my auxiliaryB yo ain't thug or gangsta stop pretend, cuz yo ain't oneWhile my dogz bustin them chrome why the fu*k you runCuz you're a puszy bitc* stop being a di*kDon't let me see you, or i'll burn down your whole fu*kin cliqueWell it is sound kinda mugger poem but hey that how i am feelin right now, so stufff what you think lol.

mail...

last night i received an email from my little sister, she's only 12 but with a mature self (Sona is in America) and full of life (the opposite of me) her letter detailed alot of activity she been involved with her friends, uncle aunty, her sports including herself. as a brother i alway stand for her side even she can be fractious from time to time, very annoying. though i long to see her hopefully next year when i got back home, just as if i could hear her voice now (not that i cant call, but my god damn lazy ass won't).maybe i just stop writing and start to make a call, now...